Feedback, flapjacks and formation

SEI could not do its job without the amazing cohort of people named ‘Diocesan Advisors’, those individuals, both lay and ordained, who accompany a student through the three years of the formational course. ‘DAs’, as they are affectionately known, meet with their allotted candidate monthly during term time, helping them to integrate all the disparate parts of the training experience into a coherent whole, through good listening, steady accompaniment and critical friendship.

Some of the best DAs are those who have recently gone through training at SEI themselves, the Revd Dr Jenny Holden, the Advisor for Christian Life in the Diocese of Aberdeen and Orkney, being one such. Since 2021 Jenny has been DA to Helen Randall, an ordinand based in Shetland. Jenny writes:

Feedback and flapjacks, pioneering and preaching in different roles, seeing God in creation, and giving thanks to God. These are all things that Helen and I have discussed in DA meetings (and those are just from the last two!) Logistics of Aberdeen and the Shetland Isles mean that most of the time we meet on Zoom, but take the opportunity to meet up in person when we can, including prior to Residential Weekends. However, whether in person or online we pray together, reflect together and deal with the administration, both mundane and exciting, that is part of being an SEI student.

Since August 2021 I’ve been the Diocesan Advisor for Helen Randall. When first asked to consider being a DA I wrote that it was an exciting prospect, an opportunity, and a privilege to be invited to accompany someone at this stage of formation; but the invitation also held some fear and trepidation. Over 18 months later I can say it’s been a deeper, broader, and more formative experience for me than I ever thought. It’s not without its challenges; being a critical friend and mentor means being prepared to ask difficult or tough questions, being prepared to gently challenge and nudge, and getting the balance right in being supportive and encouraging expansive thinking and reflection. There are highlights such as hearing about experiences on placement, or excitement about being able to look ahead and see possibilities not thought about or grasped previously, and sharing successes, which might or might not be those seen as ‘traditional’ ones such as feedback. Or it might be in finding an author who resonates with thinking and practice.

Being a coach, mentor or critical friend involves being aware of your own strengths and weaknesses, being sensitive to being there for the other person and rejoicing in our differences; things you find difficult or challenging or enjoyable and straightforward might not be those things which you have in common in your DA partnership. I’ve found conversations constructive, particularly when speaking about discerning the shape or the vocations within a vocation, in  the midst of a time when I was discerning next steps. My experience is that as the partnership grows, as each of us have settled into our roles, it is far more of a partnership, each of us revelling in being fearfully and wonderfully made, sharing of ourselves and what and where we see God moving in our lives and in our response to God’s call on our lives in love.

DAs are invited to attend one Residential Weekend during their student’s time at SEI, generally when the student is preaching or taking some other leadership role.  Jenny attended the March residential, presiding at the Sunday service (at which Helen was preaching) and being present with and for her advisee in times of worship, study – and leisure!

Photos courtesy of Ross Stirling-Young